Ever since I got pregnant I’ve been mulling over in my head, “career? baby? stay at home? go to work?”. Two and half years later, I’m not sure I’ve come to an answer yet. I really never thought that I was going to be one of those people who wanted to stay at home with their child, go to play groups, or talk about naps or lack of naps in the park. I truly believed that I was going to have this career and be financially independent, sure get married, but kids weren’t necessarily in the cards for me. Until I started seeing my friends’ kids, and then my sister adopted a baby, and it was all down (or up depending on how you look at it) hill from there. I got married in November 2008, and presto-chango, I became a mom in August 2009. (more…)
Archive for January, 2011
Family, career, or both
January 27, 2011Why do they do that?
January 26, 2011I went to a baby shower at work today, admittedly fifteen minutes late, only to hear the bashing of parenthood talk going on. The people in the room with babies were telling the poor pregnant woman in the room all the negative things about having a baby. I was horrified! I remember when I was pregnant people did the same thing to me, I didn’t understand it then, and I certainly don’t understand it anymore now. Why do people do that? (more…)
My maiden voyage
January 24, 2011On Thursday morning, a friend of mine invited me to go as her +1 to the Sundance Festival in place of her husband, the catch was that I would need to leave on Friday, and I was going sans husband and baby. In order to understand just how difficult a decision this was for me, you have to understand that I LOVE films, and I’ve attended the Toronto Film festival twice, the Montreal Film festival, and the Sonoma Film festival. Going to Sundance is the festival of all festivals, and not going would be like saying I don’t like films. I had to go, but how can I? How can I leave my husband to take care of our 18 month old all weekend by himself when he has to take care of him all week while I work? How can I ask my husband to have absolutely no break? On top of that will my baby forget who I am while I’m gone? What if he doesn’t miss me? Or even worse, what if my husband discovers he doesn’t need me at all, and he’s perfectly capable of taking care of our baby without me? It was just four months ago that I really couldn’t leave my baby and husband alone and I liked that. I couldn’t leave them because I was the milk supply – that is no longer true, and I can’t help but feel not as needed, and a bit left out. (more…)
How do children learn to distrust people?
January 19, 2011One thing that has been coming up for us lately is the repeated theme of getting our son integrated and comfortable being around other children. Usually, August (our son), will either try to share something with the other child like a book, or his food, or some piece of string he found on the ground, but occasionally he prefers to just watch. More recently, he and his Dad were with another Father and baby and that baby came over to August while he was sitting on the floor, and started patting his head – quite gently, at first. But then gently, turned into not so gently – I’m gathering because August didn’t give that child the attention he was hoping for. (more…)
Breastfeeding is Hard!
January 18, 2011At this point, I imagine most women have developed an opinion on breastfeeding. Is it best for babies, does it matter in the long run, can every women really do it, formula is just as good, do it for at least 6 months, do it as long as you can, and the suggestions go on and on. When I became pregnant I decided that breastfeeding was important to me, and that it was best for my baby too. So the only books I read during pregnancy were about how to breastfeed. I read a book recommended by a friend of mine. It was fascinating – learning about how our bodies are made for making milk, how the milk comes out, potential challenges with breastfeeding, etc. By the time, my baby was born I had all but memorized this book. Then, my son, August, was born – unfortunately by c-section after 36 hours of natural child birth. We found out later he was trying to come out the wrong way and he had the umbilical cord wrapped around his next. (more…)
Are moms happier than they used to be?
January 18, 2011If you combine the California State Paid Family leave with the Federal Family and Medical Act you can get a grand total of 18 weeks (4.5 months) in total when you adopt or have a baby. The UK as of February 2010, was discussing that 39 weeks paid in part (6 weeks at 90% of pay and 33 weeks at 55% of pay) should become 20 weeks paid in full at a minimum. Spain just passed a law stating that both moms and dads could leave work for an hour during the day in the first nine months to support breastfeeding by recognizing that women need their husbands through this journey. One of the most progressive countries is Bulgaria who gives out 1 year paid at 100% and this can be taken by the mother, father, or grandparent. It’s difficult to conceive in a country that leads the world in so many other areas, that we are so behind in this one. (more…)
Will I ever sleep late again?
January 12, 2011Let me also say that I consider myself lucky. My son has been sleeping through the night (at first it was 11pm-6am) since about 5 months old. Generally speaking, we put him to bed at 7:30pm, and we don’t hear from him again until at least 6am. And that’s great, really! My husband and I can enjoy a few hours of peace before we go to bed, have a relaxing meal, and prepare for the next day all before we go to bed. But still, I used to sleep until 10am on the weekends, wake up, watch some cooking shows on PBS, and maybe start my day around 1pm. (more…)
