I’ve decided that people who teach classes to toddlers should NEVER get substitutes. Because here’s a little tidbit, they suck! ALWAYS! Seriously, I’m not kidding, just cancel man, and give us a make-up.
Right now we have two activities on our calendar every week. We go to Yoga on Tuesday mornings and story time on Thursday mornings. We love both “teachers” (okay, well, we LOVE our yoga teacher and we greatly appreciate our story time teacher). A few months ago we went to story time, walked in and saw some old hippie sitting in Teacher Kathy’s seat. I actually thought we had showed up for story time either too early, too late, or on the wrong day. Unfortunately, it was the right time on the right day. Normally, story time consists of songs we all know and a few books are read intermittently. But this guy, who didn’t even introduce himself except to admit he didn’t know what the hell he was doing and was reading his cues off a little wrinkled up piece of paper, sang songs none of us knew (I’m guessing they were from the 50′s or 60′s or something), read only one book, and had a terrible voice. Story time that day couldn’t have been over sooner. I wasn’t the only one disappointed either because several women stormed off with their babies in tow halfway through (and it’s only thirty minutes long). So, two weeks ago when Kathy told us she wouldn’t be there and mentioned some dude was filling in, we skipped story time that week – happily.
Today we showed up to Yoga class a little early so I wasn’t concerned when no one was there yet. August and I sat down, took off our shoes, and kicked back while we waited for Teacher Michelle and the other kids to show up (there’s six kids or so in total). Class starts at 10am, and by 9:58 am there was no one there except some woman who watched our Yoga class a few weeks back. She told us her name was Sarah and she would be filling in for Michelle. This didn’t bode well considering I had to practically drag August’s ass out of the house this morning. But we grabbed our mat and found our place on the floor. It was now 10am, and still no one else was there. Did Michelle send out an email and I didn’t receive it? Did everyone but me know she wasn’t coming to class today?
Sarah turned to us as we were laying out our mat and said, “Do you still want to do class if no one else shows up?”
“Umm yes. It takes us forty minutes by bus just to get here. Turning back around and going home doesn’t make much sense for us. So, yes, please.”
She smiled, shrugged her shoulders and agreed. Thankfully two other little girls showed up. But class was really terrible. She too didn’t know our usual songs. In fact, at some point August went up to her and said, “Do you know the mouse song.” Sarah said, “No. I’m sorry I don’t remember it.” So August tried to sing it for her. Sarah kept also switching yoga moves so quickly even I had trouble keeping up. It was pretty obvious that she hadn’t made a plan for today’s class even though she was given a four day’s notice (according to her). The moves were also way too advanced for two-year-olds. Several times August tried to help her out by showing her the moves we typically do in our class. On top of all this, class started five minutes late and ended five minutes early. It’s only a forty-five minute class, people. So we travelled forty minutes by bus for a thirty-five minute, pretty shitty, class. Bummer, and we really LOVE yoga.
I can’t complain too much though. Pretty sure August still had fun, and he didn’t complain. I know, the class is for him, not me, but still a bummer either way. If you’re out there listening to me Michelle, Sarah was nice, but she wasn’t you. See you next week, we hope.