Posts Tagged ‘toddlers’

Naked News

April 14, 2013

August’s preschool is a little like “Lord of the Flies”.  Scratch that, it’s a lot like “Lord of the Flies”.  When we pick up our kids at the preschool gate, we never know we’ll find.  To be honest, I’m always excited to see how the kids have changed themselves in the short three hours that they’re there.  

They often use their clothes as a paint palette, and glitter to accessorize.  Sometimes kids will come out with water dripping from their hair and a bag of soggy clothes dragging behind them.  And every now and again, but very rarely they will come out looking exactly as you left them.  If they do come out looking exactly the same, be concerned because they may have had a “thumbs down” sort of day.

Luckily it’s a co-op, which means I work at his school once a week, and I know that all these things are to be expected for our preschool.  In fact when I was contemplating which preschool to send August to, a mother (from an online mom’s group) suggested we might not want to attend this preschool because they let the children run around naked! (Say it isn’t so.) 

Naked?!  At a preschool?  That’s awesome!  Sign us up!  And we did. As it turns out, being naked at this school is so popular that they created a special time when everyone has to have their clothes back on. “Shoes, Socks and Clothing time” happens at exactly 3:00pm every day.  This is the time at which boys and girls get to choose what clothing they put back on.  It can be their extra clothes that remains in their cubbies, the clean stock of girls clothing in the bathroom, the clean stock of boys clothing in the bathroom, or the clothes they wore to school (NEVER happens!).  My personal favorite was one day I saw a boy go in to school wearing jeans, a baseball t-shirt, socks and sneakers (very boy like) .  After three hours of preschool, he came out wearing a yellow sundress, girls panties, pink nail polish, black sneakers, slightly damp hair, and a bag of wet clothes in hand. That, my friends, is a two thumbs up day at preschool.

Not August, though.  Seven months in to our first year, and we were still waiting for him to shed his clothes.  Every week I watched the cute little bottoms of other preschool girls and boys enjoying their freedom and wondered when August might partake.  At some point I thought to myself, “Maybe he just doesn’t notice the other kids taking off their clothes and running around naked?”

Until this week when we had an unusually warm day in San Francisco (Don’t get any crazy ideas, it was only seventy degrees, but it felt like a heat wave to us!).  Since August has very fair skin I told him he was going to need some sunscreen before going to school.  I had to prepare him for this in advance because he hates sunscreen.  I decided I would only torture him with his arms, neck, ears and face.  

But when I started putting the sunscreen on his arms, he looked up at me and said, “Hey Mom, let’s do this all over!”

“Really?”

“Yes. It feels nice.”

Umm, okay, you don’t have to ask me twice.  So he preceded to dictate where to apply sunscreen.  

“Thighs. Knees.  Ankles. Chest. Tummy.  Back.  Elbows. Feet.  Butt, please Mom.”

Once we were done he said, “I’ve been DYING for you to do this.  Now I can take my clothes off at school!”

Huh?  That’s what he’s been waiting for?  Sunscreen that usually I need to tie him down for?  Anyhow, I smiled, and wondered if this really meant what I thought it meant.  I admit I was a bit nervous about him getting naked.  I don’t know why, but I was.

Gate time arrived, and I stood in line waiting to pick him up wondering what state I would find him in.  He walked out, with a big grin on his face wearing his spare clothes from his cubby and said, “Mom, I was naked today!”

He did it!  He had his coming out party.  The hazing was over, and he was finally a part of the group.  I was so proud.  And he told me he had a two thumbs up kind of day.  Of course, all of this left me jealous and wondering “How was it?  Was it scary to take your clothes off?  Were you cold? Did any of the other regulars notice that this was your first time?”  

I found myself bragging to all the moms, dads, and even the Director of the school about August’s first naked day.  There were high-fives all around.  

The only question I wasn’t still contemplating by the end of the day was  ”Will you do it again?”  Pretty sure that’s a resounding “YES!”

Mushroom Cream Sauce

December 11, 2012

I think I’m doing something wrong.  Last night I made August penne with a Brisket Ragu sauce (using leftover brisket from our first night of Hanukkah).  Tonight we get home from preschool, and he asks me what I’m making him for dinner (for some reason this is often the topic of conversation amongst him and his preschool teachers).

I replied with “I thought we’d have some of that Brisket Ragu I made you yesterday.”

“No, I don’t want that.  Want else can I have?” he states quite emphatically with authority.

So I peeked in the refrigerator to determine if there is anything I can quickly whip up for him without too much effort. I spy some mushrooms and broccoli and realize I might be able to create something for him in very little time.

“Yeah, I think I can whip something up for you.” I tell him confidently.  He buys my story, and begins to play trains happily while I proceed with dinner.  In fifteen minutes flat, I made him a plate of penne topped with a beautiful Creamy Mushroom Sauce, just a hint of sherry, and a few pieces of broccoli for good measure.

I was clever in that I chopped the mushrooms up incredibly small so he wouldn’t pick out the mushrooms.  Because August, like any other three-year-old won’t choose to eat vegetables, you have to trick them into it. My trick worked like a charm, but my question is in what world does a kid get to choose between Brisket Ragu and Creamy Mushroom and Sherry sauce?

I need to set the bar a bit lower, or I’m going to be in trouble.  But on a lighter note, I’m quite proud at how quickly I threw that all together.  He ate the whole thing, broccoli and all.

I Need Your Help!

September 27, 2012

I’m going to attempt to enter a contest with one of my favorite, and popular, mom-bloggers.  She is asking other writing parents to submit their best stories, and she will post them on her website!  Please vote below for what your favorite story of mine is.  If you don’t see yours below, feel free to send your comments with other favorites I may have missed.  My submission has to be by Sunday, October 1st.

To help, here is a link to each story mentioned in the poll below. (In no particular order)

1.  Poop and Splinters

2.  Used Beemer

3.  Because I Told You So

4.  I Love the Trees

Thanks for your help!

Breaking out of jail

September 26, 2012

August is a talker, always has been, and I suppose at this point it’s fair to assume, always will be.  To be fair, Brent and I are talkers, and he comes from a long line of other talkers in our families; so when you think about it, he was bound to be a talker.  When he was less than a year old, we would take him into our bed on mornings when he woke up before 6am.  Every morning he would do what he called Filibustering.  He wasn’t talking, but he would babble on and on and on.  I swear he could go for an hour, only stopping for a breath here and there.

Not much has changed now that he is talking.  He talks non stop from the moment he wakes up until the moment he goes to sleep.  Sometimes it gets a little tiring, but most of the time I love it.  It does tend to get in the way of him falling asleep at night or taking a nap.  So when he gets to gibbering too much, we will go into his room and ask him to speak more quietly.  We have found that the more quietly he speaks to himself, the more likely he is to fall asleep.  And sometimes, after we’ve warned him several times, we have to bring out the threats.  The usual threat is closing the door (he likes it slightly ajar).

During nap time today, I warned him several times to be more quiet, but he wouldn’t listen.  I felt like the threat of the door had gotten old, so I decided to take another approach.

“August, if you can be quiet for the last bit of your nap, I’ll give you five stickers for your sticker board.”

“Okay, Mommy.  I can do that.  I’ll be quiet, but how about three stickers?” (He hasn’t grasped the fact that five is more than three, I guess.)

“Sounds good.  If you can be quiet, then you can have three stickers when you get up.”

Fifteen minutes go by, and he’s chattering away, and laughing out loud to himself.  I go into his room, he’s standing up, sleep sack off, and the curtain is now draped over his bed instead of laying flat to the ground.

“Okay, August, lie down, and no stickers when you get up.” And I leave.  He freaks out.  Literally, he’s screaming his head off, “Mommy, I will be quiet, Mommy I will be quiet…” at the top of his lungs.  Brent finds this hilarious when he does it.  He’s right, the irony is pretty rich.

I chose to ignore his screaming, and lay on the couch with a pillow over my ears.  The next thing I hear is…

“I’m getting out, Mommy.  I’m getting out, Mommy.” Creak, thump, thump.

“What was that,” I wonder.  I hear his door open, and he goes running towards my room, and then turns around and finds me on the couch.

“Mommy, I will be quiet,” he says to me with tears streaming down his face.  Oh, and did I forget to mention that August is still in a crib.  Yep, that’s right, it happened.  I didn’t think it could with the Stokke Crib (I mean, really, look at this thing.  It’s impossible to climb out of), but guess what designers, this three-year-old figured out a way.

“How did you do that,” I asked.

“Do what,” as if it’s nothing.

“Get out of your crib. Come show me.”

I follow him back to his crib, and he shows me how he flings one leg over the side, and uses the slightly wider bar to catapult himself over.  Dammit.  We will have to take one side off his crib, and he’ll have free access to the real world.  We have lost our control.

And the real fun begins.  Now he’ll be able to get up in the middle of the night for the toilet.  He’ll be able to come get us in the morning when he wakes up at some un-godly hour.  He’ll be able to play with every toy possible in his room during nap time.  If he wants milk at 3am, now he’ll be able to come in and ask for it.

Guess he’s growing up.

Do’s and Don’ts

August 30, 2012

My son is now attending a co-op preschool.  What this means, among other things, is that I get to work there once a week.  Every week I get a sneak peek into my son’s new life.  I get to meet the parents, teachers, and the other students.  It’s exhausting, but fun.  As a parent, though, there are rules.  There very specific ways you handle certain situations, things you absolutely don’t say, and things you can and can’t do.  As an example, no talking on your cell phone or texting the whole three hours you’re there, unless you are on a break.  Great!  I hate cell phones anyhow.  (With each passing day, I hate them more and more.  In fact, maybe I should just throw mine away.  But I digress.)  When children are fighting over a toy, instead of reprimanding the children, you try to work it out with them calmly.   (more…)

Little Ears are Listening

August 29, 2012

I’m often dumbfounded by the amount of parents who will badmouth their own children in front of their children.  I assume that the reason they do it is because they forget that their children now understand our language.  Or maybe they think they are not listening or paying attention?  Not sure what the reason is, but it sure seems pretty stupid to me.  Let me give you an example.   (more…)

“What did you do today?”

August 27, 2012

Last week was our first week of preschool.  Currently we’re only going three days a week in the hopes of squeezing in a few naps here and there (it’s an afternoon program).  Two of the three days, August goes to preschool without me.  The other day, I’m there with him because it’s a co-op program, so I have to work one day a week.  Last week went surprisingly well.  I found the work day fun, and pretty easy.  The two days August had without me he did just fine – no tears or anything.  Plus when I came to pick him up he had a smile on his face and a mom can’t ask for much more than that.  In fact the first day he had by himself I asked him what he did and he told me he played with trains.  Then he asked what I did and I said, “I ran a few errands, and thought of you.”  He replied with, “I thought about you the whole time you were gone.”  Cute. (more…)

Happy birthday, August!

August 16, 2012

Last year on this day, I believe I posted about our “birth” experience.  This year as I was sitting across the table from my now three-year-old son, watching him eat a carrot cake cupcake with cream cheese frosting made by yours truly, I started to think about how short three years actually is. If I met someone three years ago today, I doubt that I would be living with them, quitting my job to spend all my days with them, wiping their butt when they poop, knowingly decide that they will be in my life for at least the rest of my life, make them homemade cupcakes on their birthday, rent a car to go to their favorite museum, help them put on their clothes in the morning, or tuck them in at night.  In fact, I’m guessing if I did any of these things, that person would think I was some sort of weirdo. (more…)

Used Beemer

August 6, 2012

My husband’s best friend is moving to Miami.  It’s very sad, but true.  This past weekend was our last weekend to spend with them, so we were over at their house practically the whole weekend helping them pack up (Well, Brent helped, I mostly kept August company while he played with trains).  At some point, August and I went outside to see what the other “boys” were doing.  August and I decided to hang out for a bit, and while that was happening our friend Kenny let August play with their toy Beemer.  It’s the kind of car you sit on and push around by walking your feet along the ground.  August was so excited when Kenny took it out that he went running over to it like a little girl – arms flailing and all.  Kenny asked us if we wanted it because they were trying to get rid of it.  August paid him a quarter that he found on the sidewalk, and a deal was forever struck.  We took the car home with us and after his “nap”  we took the car out back for a spin around the yard.   (more…)

911 for Parents

August 2, 2012

You know what I would love?  I want a parent hotline to be answered by an extremely experienced, well-respected person who could answer all my on-the-spot questions about raising a child and not totally fucking them up before the age of five.  But instead we have a pediatrician for sickness (Most of the time their answer is, “It will pass. there’s nothing we can do.”), a sleep doula for sleep questions (But they charge by the hour, and who can afford to have an on-call doula for the rest of their child’s years?), a pediatric neurologist for any brain related questions (Like “Do left-handed kids have trouble reading from right to left more than right-handed children?” I personally like asking this doctor questions that I’m just wondering about for fun), a pediatric eye doctor (If you’re lucky you don’t have to have one of these because your child sees perfectly, but unfortunately ours does not.), and in the past we have had lactation consultants as well (These people are awesome, by the way!).   (more…)


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